


Nos réflections

by SteamedBaozi



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-23 02:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11980107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteamedBaozi/pseuds/SteamedBaozi
Summary: Kyungsoo is a hermit, drowning himself in books. One day he wakes up having purchased an antique mirror in the night. Ever since then, his dreams have been plagued with an unknown man. Who is he and why does Kyungsoo feel like he must find him?





	Nos réflections

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SoSo8812](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoSo8812/gifts).



> This is my first Kaisoo work, so please treat it as well as me, with care.

In a nearby apartment, across from town, Kyungsoo sat in complete and utter darkness. He was not sleeping, in fact, he was wide awake. His small fingers trembled ever so slightly on the fluffed up comforter that sat atop his bed. Eyes wide, staring at the ceiling.  
The cause of his state was nothing but an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
Memories flashed behind his eyes as he recalled the day he was gifted with an antique mirror that now hung on the wall in front of him. He sat up, his legs hanging from the edge of the bed, staring into his own reflection. Shaking his head as the hairs stood up on the back of his neck, his jaw tensed. Kyungsoo felt uneasy, staring into the mirror and briefly wondering why he felt as if he was staring at someone else’s reflection.  
Once again, he thought back on why he had the mirror in the first place. 

It had been raining for a few days; bright flashing lights and rumbles clashing deep in the night. The forecast had announced only a few centimetres of rain, yet it continued. 

Amongst the people, Kyungsoo walked at a slow pace, his black umbrella covering him from the constant downpour. Clad in tight black slacks, a loosely fitted cream sweater and a brown peacoat, his boots landed effortlessly onto the pavement.  
His eyes occasionally traveled to the side, where the water swept small pieces of debris as it sailed down the sidewalk, or to the bright lights that reflected in the puddles.  
One thing that he could not help but be aware of was the soft pitter patter of rain against his umbrella. The sound echoed loudly in his ears, putting him in a sort of daze. His feet continued to carry him down the street, passing by the brightly lit stores and busy clubs boasting with life. 

These, however, he payed no attention to. If anything, they were left unnoticed. What pulled him out of the lull of rain was the loud crackling sound of thunder above him. He looked up just in time to see the white lines travel across the sky, from cloud to cloud, painting them a fluorescent colour. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, staring up. From there, Kyungsoo could see the moon slowly peek it’s way out from the clouds, illuminating the sky.  
In this position, a few raindrops managed to splatter across his face, causing his usual stoic face to grimace. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, rummaging around till he found what he was looking for. Letting out a soft noise in relief, he pulled out a tissue from his pocket and wiped away the raindrops from his glasses, then continued to walk.

He wondered why exactly he felt the urge to go outside. It had been months since the last time he went outside, his balcony being an exception. He purchased his necessities online, including his groceries. This, with the addition of his strange case of OCD, Kyungsoo found himself being the definition of a hermit. He remembers it never always being like this.  
He remembers running in the grass barefoot surrounded by floating bubbles and his parents’ laughter. He remembers the taste of ice cream and homemade pies on Saturdays. Then all those things he cherished disappeared; every happy moment was tainted, the floor was dirty, the kitchen was uninhabitable, and most of all, Kyungsoo was the dirtiest.  
He was created in a sinful act with another man and the man who raised him was someone who knew nothing about the affair. His mother? She was unaware of her husband's gambling.  
From then on, Kyungsoo had the habit of hiding away from his parents, distancing himself from the truth, from reality. He wasn’t depressed per say, if anything he felt disappointed in his parents for their terrible choices. He was young, but he was not blind. He knew his parents felt ashamed of the lies they’ve lived and by admitting their wrongs, they became awkward and distant, putting young Kyungsoo in a hard position.  
At the age of 18, he felt the need to right their wrongs by living his life the way he wanted, without ever making their decisions, without lying. This, however, meant he was to be cooped up inside his apartment for days on end.  
In reality, this was not his coping mechanism, he had accepted what his parents had done long ago when he was just a child. Rather, he living happily on his own, away from his parents, was how he moved on. On sunny days, he had a few friends from high school visit him, but apart from that, rainy days tended to be his alone time. Having not seen his rowdy friends for a few weeks now made him feel free. Yet deep down, something was missing. 

Nearing the outskirts of town, his trail of thought was interrupted by an unusual sound. It was not the thunder nor the rain, in fact, the rain had stopped. Kyungsoo lowered his umbrella, shaking it a few times before folding it up.  
He heard the noise again- concluding it sounded like a bell of sort, rustling in the wind. Kyungsoo stopped in his tracks, turning his head to the side he assumed the noise was coming from. 

There stood a small, dingy store, with a worn out door and a slanted sign. It stated ‘The Eve’. Kyungsoo looked around him, making sure no one was paying him any attention. From what he could see, no one was in sight, in fact, people were probably inside because of the current late hour.  
Clenching and unclenching his fists, he walked up to the door and slowly turned the handle. Surprisingly, it wasn’t locked. Once it had opened, he was welcomed by the smell of old dusty books and vanilla scented candles. He let out a soft sigh, how could he have never noticed this place?  
The thought made him chuckle. He hadn’t gone outside in god knows how long, of course he would have never noticed its existence. 

The only comfort he knew was the endless amount of books he had all to himself. For days on end he would sit on his torn up couch, nose buried between pages. Thankfully for technology, Kyungsoo’s love for books never ended. It was almost every week he ordered a new book from the internet.  
Being in there, opposed to being behind a screen, made him feel something he had never felt before. A small spark ignited in the pit of his stomach. He felt excited, joyous. Maybe he’d find a book he hadn’t read before? A new author? Yet deep down, he feared those emotions, he was afraid that-

“Hello?” A gruff voice called out, causing Kyungsoo to jump ever so slightly. “Why yes, what can I do for you, young lad?”

Kyungsoo’s hands nervously shook, causing him to quickly put them in his pocket. When was the last time he spoke to a stranger? Let alone anyone.  
He opened his mouth, about to speak, when the elderly man continued.  
He walked out from behind the counter, situated in the far right corner, and around the stacks of old books and antiques, to Kyungsoo. His face was layered with skin, yet amongst a long, trimmed beard, was a large content smile.  
Kyungsoo was confused, how could he smile at him like that? They were but mere strangers.

“You see.. I’ve had this shop for years, and I have never seen a face like yours- is there something you’re looking for, newcomer? Well, anyways, why don’t you just follow me to the back. I bet I can find something you like.”

Kyungsoo simply nodded his head, and followed the old man.

It is here that the memories residing inside Kyungsoo’s mind became hazy. He cannot recall whether or not he bought anything specific, all he remembers is waking up in his bed with the mirror lying beside him.  
Looking at it now, he realizes just how old it was. The shape was a simple oval, but the framework was clearly handcrafted with gold swirls starting from the corners of the mirror meeting in the middle of the base, intertwining. Small flowers accompanied by petals were dispersed amongst the swirls.  
Indeed, it had its charm. Kyungsoo didn’t doubt it was worth a pretty penny. With that thought in mind, he wondered just how he was able to snatch up the mirror. Had he brought money with him without knowing? No.  
Troubled, Kyungsoo got off of his bed and passed a bookcase that's used as a fourth wall for his bedroom. Living in a small apartment with essentially no rooms, Kyungsoo had to do his best to have some privacy.  
Off of his makeshift bedroom was the living room, to his right was the kitchen and dining area, and to his left was the bathroom. It was simple and organized, just how he liked it.

Sitting at his desk, he turned on his computer, the hum of it turning on filling the room. He typed in his password, then opened his bank account via internet. He frowned.  
“That’s strange..” he mumbled. According to his bank account, he hasn’t taken money out nor spent any in a few days. He sat in his chair for a few minutes, staring at the screen, confused. Had the old man given it to him for free? If that was the case, there had to have been a catch.  
Kyungsoo ran his hand through his hair, pulling at it in frustration. With a sigh, he got off of the chair and walked to his worn out couch and plopped down. He then reached out for the book he was currently reading, then turned to the page his bookmark kept for him.

\- - -

From the moment he opened his eyes heat embraced his body wholeheartedly. It touched his skin, sinking in and warming his heart. He squinted, covering his eyes for a moment, trying to protect his eyes from the bright sun. When his eyes no longer stung, he looked around, realizing he was alone in the middle of a meadow. Far away, he could see bright green trees and up ahead the sun was tainting the sky orange as it set. As Kyungsoo walked he extended his arms out, letting the tall grass tickle his skin. 

As fast as it came, it was gone. This time, when he opened his eyes, he was lying down, dark hues of blue painted on the sky. The blanket under him was soft and freshly washed.  
It was at that moment that Kyungsoo knew he was not alone. He turned his head to the side, almost in slow-motion. As hard as he tried to look at him, all he could make out was their ripped jeans, white t-shirt and tanned skin. He could hear himself laughing, feel himself lean towards the stranger. It was pure bliss. It was love, he thought.  
As Kyungsoo drifted out of his dream, he could still hear the music being played in the meadow. 

\- - - 

Kyungsoo woke up covered in sweat, heart racing. He placed a hand on his chest as he sat up, book falling off of the couch. He payed it no attention as he closed his eyes, trying to recall his dream. Why did he feel so empty, so sad, now that he woke up? Kyungsoo shook his head, not being able to remember it clearly, and got up, placing the fallen book on the coffee table before walking into the kitchen, checking the time. 2:07 am. Had he really been sleeping for that long? He recalls reading all day, apart from his small frozen dinner and bowl of ice cream, but can’t remember ever falling asleep.  
Kyungsoo shook his head and walked into his bedroom, tossing himself onto the bed after stripping himself of his clothes. 

Kyungsoo dreamt of nothing

\- - -

Weeks had gone by without a single dream, leaving him tired and restless. Kyungsoo felt constantly on edge, as if he had forgotten something, left something behind, yet he still couldn’t figure out why. Google told him he had some sort of insomnia, or better yet, he was crazy. He didn’t believe any of it.  
The only thing he knew was that it was triggered by him buying the mirror that was now in his bedroom.  
Kyungsoo decided it was best if he went back to the store he got it from, maybe the old man would know something. The last thing he needs is a visit to his local church, asking for some sort of blessing. 

The walk to the store was shorter than he thought; today was a Tuesday, most of the people were sleeping at 7am. Kyungsoo felt the itch to get out once more, but this time he felt fearful for his life. He needed answers. 

Standing in front of the building, Kyungsoo was confused. The sign that was once hung near the door was gone, as well as the bookshelves that were seen from the windows. He walked up the stairs and peered into the small window by the door, shocked to see an empty building.  
How could this be? The store had been there just a mere week ago and now it was gone? No way.  
Kyungsoo tried the handle.

Unlocked

He took a few steps back, a few inches away from tumbling down the steps, shocked.  
Kyungsoo considered his options; either he’d find the old man or some sort of clue, or he’d find nothing.  
He took a chance and swung open the door, but looked around for any witnesses before walking in.  
The place smelt the same as he remembered, but this time it was bare. There were no longer stacks of books or glass cases full of antique clocks and jewelry. It was empty.  
Kyungsoo sighed, throwing his head back in despair. Of course nothing would be in here.  
Just his luck.  
He looked around the place, seeing a few pieces of lint and a couple of empty bookcases. He then turned on his heel, ready to leave when something caught his eye. Right there, to his left, was a small leather book left standing on one of the bookshelves. He frowned, walking over to it and carefully grabbing it. It was surprisingly light and very well crafted. He figured someone had put the pages and leather together by hand.  
He flipped through the pages, only to find it empty. Each page blank.  
Kyungsoo raised a brow, looking through the pages one more time. The only thing that was written down were the initials “D K - K J”.  
He tilted his head to the side, inspecting the penmanship when a creak was heard from the other side of the room. Kyungsoo looked up, seeing nothing. Strange.  
He ran his hands down the paper, where the leather was sewn onto it when he heard it again, but this time closer to him. He felt it then. It was the same feeling he got when he stared into the mirror. Someone was watching him. But who? 

“W-Who are you..?” He whispered, eyes darting across the room, panic slowly starting to rise. Before his anxiety reached its peak, a sort of warmth spread across his arms and roamed onto his chest, almost like a caress. The panic was gone. His worries and restlessness were gone too.  
But before he could cherish the feeling, it was gone, and all the worries and his forgotten dream came back to him in one swift wave. Kyungsoo felt as if a part of him had been harshly yanked out, leaving him with the feeling of loneliness once more. 

“Don’t go..” He whispered, hoping that whatever that’s haunting him would hear him.  
Kyungsoo laughed at himself internally. Who was he talking to? Maybe Google was right, maybe he is crazy.

\- - -

 

Kyungsoo realizes he has to be crazy. The leather book was on his nightstand, untouched, but when he woke the day before, he swore for a split second it was not him in the mirror with the book in his hands.  
This morning however, he found small dried and wet droplets of water on one of the corners of the mirror. Strangely enough, that night he dreamed of a river. He remembers swimming till his lips turned blue- blue, like the colour of his shirt. Him. A faceless, tan beauty who seemed to be following him in his dreams. Who was he?

He took it upon himself to check online for reports of people that have gone missing in the last few years around his area. The number was small, thankfully, but none of them he could recognize.  
Next, he tried to pinpoint where exactly he had been in his dreams. Nothing.  
He realized that maybe his dreams were just exactly that. Dreams. 

\- - - 

It was a week later that he realized that maybe his dreams weren’t just dreams. It started with small things; his mirror would reflect his dreams, if he dreamed of a forest he’d find small leaves on the floor or water when he was at a lake. Then, it was the voices, the soft whispers in his ear. He recognized the voices to be of the man in his dreams, yet sometimes, he swore he could hear his own.  
Kyungsoo considers throwing out the mirror once again. Although, he must admit, dreaming about a hot individual was quite pleasing, but having memories and thoughts that aren’t necessarily his drove Kyungsoo crazy. Why was it that when he cooked kimchi spaghetti for the first time he felt as if he had made it before? He felt as if he already knew the recipe, that he already knew what it would taste like. Why was it that when he watched a marathon of a certain show he knew what would happen? How could he have known these things when he’s never seen the show before? Why were things seeming so familiar to him? It was almost as if he experienced these things in another life..

Kyungsoo sighed for the thousandth time, sitting on his couch with the blank journal in his hands. Ever since he came in possession of it, everything had escalated. Maybe the answer to his problems were right in front of him?  
Kyungsoo opened the book, turning its pages slowly. The first couple of pages were bare, the next few were crumpled, others dotted with what looked like to be water. Kyungsoo hummed in curiosity as the rest of the pages were clearly cared for, no wrinkles in sight. 

\- - -

The worn out pages in the journal were from tears. He knows this because in his dream, that was exactly what had happened. He sat there, on his couch, writing in the journal, crying his heart out. Kyungsoo couldn’t read what was being written, but he felt the pain. He felt the heartbreak.

\- - -

Kyungsoo stood in the kitchen, looking at his calendar - it seemed that today marked one month of having the mirror. Ever since that fateful night, his dreams were filled with an unknown man. It seemed as if his dreams were connected, almost like every dream was their everyday lives. From dates to simply doing chores, there was no doubt about it that the two of them held a special connection. Kyungsoo knew that in order for him to figure out who the man was, he had to dream.  
However, his dream that night was no ordinary dream. In fact, it was a nightmare.  
It started out like his other dreams had, the feeling of being watched by someone. But this time when he turned around, he was no longer in his apartment, but instead outside in the street. There, in front of him, was the unknown man with another.  
Why was this scene so hurtful?  
Suddenly he was running away, far from the two, far from them who cried out his name. He couldn’t do this. Kyungsoo’s heartbeat pounded in his ears, painfully stabbing his chest as he ran as far as his legs could carry him. With a weary heart, he stopped in the midst of the town’s bridge, kilometers away from where he saw his lover - and screamed.  
Why was love so complicated?

\- - -

After that sudden realization, Kyungsoo no longer wanted to sleep. He no longer wanted to face the unknown man who hurt him, who loved him yet seemed to forget his existence. Why did it hurt so much? It was just a dream, yet it all felt so real, as if he had experienced it.  
Kyungsoo no longer wanted the book, or the mirror. He was tired of not knowing what was coming next or what he was feeling or even why.  
With a troubled sigh, Kyungsoo grabbed onto the book and stomped over to his balcony, roughly sliding open the doors before stepping out and chucking it over the railing.

As much as he tried to prevent it, at 3am, his body finally gave in. This time, in his dream, he isn’t in his apartment, but lying in an unknown bed with the unknown man. There, they’re surrounded by large pillows and a soft white duvet as jazzy music plays in the background, filling the room.  
It starts as a soft murmur, but slowly the man’s voice becomes audible.  
“I promised I would never leave you” he says, voice husky. Kyungsoo thinks of accusing him of cheating, but a part of him knows that’s not what happened. He trusts the man, he knows him, he loves him.  
Kyungsoo looks up, finally seeing the man’s face. His dark skin, his button nose, his plump lips and his curious eyes. He knows this. He knows every part of the man’s body, memorized by heart.  
Kyungsoo smiles. 

Once his eyes opened, Kyungsoo closed them once more, trying to bask in the company of the unknown man, but couldn’t. The dream had ended, as well as his sadness. 

Kyungsoo got up rather abruptly, remembering what he had done the day before. He had to find the journal he threw outside. Hopefully no one got hit by it, or better yet, it was still somewhere on the ground. Thankfully Kyungsoo lived on the 5th floor.  
With his hands securely on the railing, Kyungsoo looked over for the journal, but could not see it. 

For the next few days that followed, Kyungsoo does not dream.

\- - -

They’re lying in bed once more, entangled in one another limbs. He lays there, his head resting on the unknown man’s chest, his heartbeat thumping loudly in his ear. Kyungsoo sighs in content.  
“You know, all this time I’ve been waiting for you..” the man says as he brings his hand up, caressing the back of Kyungsoo’s neck.  
“Have you?” he hears himself say.  
There’s a soft chuckle, “You and I were meant to be. We may be apart, but I’ll never stop loving you”  
Kyungsoo sits up with a pout, looking at the unknown man, “What do you mean? We are together right now, at this very moment.”  
“No..” says the man, sitting up as well, “I will tell you how to find me”

Kyungsoo wakes up, and after a few moments, rushes to the mirror, clumsily getting caught in his blankets. Both make their way to the mirror, halting mere centimetres from it. He places his hands on either side of it, praying that he will meet the man in his dreams. He prays that he will appear.  
Then, he feels it, it’s him. He hears a short breath being taken, then he hears a soft whisper, almost as if the unknown man was in the corner of the room.  
“Say it.”  
Kyungsoo opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. 

\- - - 

A month had passed since then. A long, dreamless, agonizing month.  
There had been a time where Kyungsoo would have shrugged off the presence of another in his home, would have loathed having to scrub his apartment from top to bottom after his company left, but having a few friends over made him realize just how lonely he truly was.  
It made him realize just how much he missed out on things, on living, by being cooped up inside his apartment.  
It made him realize just how much he craved the presence of another.  
It made him realize just how much he missed him. 

Kyungsoo stood in front of the mirror with a wet cloth, wiping away at the dust, when there was a knock at his door. He frowned, knowing he wasn’t expecting anyone nor a delivery that day. He hesitantly put down the cloth and spray bottle, before walking over to the door. Kyungsoo stood on the tips of his toes, peeking through the small peep-hole, only seeing the person’s chin. He took a deep breath before opening the door.  
There stood a man in a white shirt and ripped jeans, colour adorning his skin.  
Kyungsoo slowly looked up at the man in disbelief.  
“U-Uhm, I believe this journal belongs to you? It landed on my balcony a while ago, I just haven’t had the courage to stop by..- Oh! My name is-” 

With watery eyes, the name he knew all too well rolled off of his tongue like a fine tune on a sunny day.

Jongin


End file.
